What are the Masters of Nasty?
	Nasty Master's Poems
	Things you REALLY shouldn't say to a man with a small dick!

Masters of Nasty

CEO:
Iven WolfGang Malarock III
Jason Anthony Bridges JR

Dick Jokes

Top Ten Reasons it Sucks to be a Dick

10. You've got a hole in your head.
9. Your master strangles you all the time.
8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
7. You shrink in cold water.
6. You never get a haircut.
5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
3. Your best friend is a pussy.
2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish. And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:
1. Every time you get excited, you throw up.

Truck Driver's Monkey
One day, there was a guy standing along the road waiting to be picked up. Finally, after hours of waiting, a truck drives by. The guy waved him down and hopped in. After a few moments of small talk, the driver got a wide grin on his face and started to reach back for the window behind him that lead into the loading area. He knocked on the window and small monkey wearing a jacket and fez climbed out and sat between the driver's leg, unzipped his fly, and started to play with his dick. When he had had enough, he smacked the monkey on the head and it zipped his fly back up and crawled into the back of the truck again. The guy looked over with a stunned look on his face, but said nothing. About ten minutes later, the driver got the same look on his face and knocked on the back window. Again the monkey came out and started playing with the driver's dick. After about 20 minutes, the driver got tired of the monkey and smacked it on the head again, but harder. This time so hard, that it knocked that hat off the monkey. The monkey shook its head, picked up its hat, and climbed into the back again. The guy was about to ask to get off the truck, but he immediately saw a sign reading that it was 50 miles to the next gas station, so he decided to stay. About a half hour later, the driver again got the look on his face and knocked on the back window. The monkey hesitantly crawled out of the back, hoping the driver would hit him as hard, but sure enough, when he was done, the driver whacked the shit out of the monkey. It fell to the floor of the truck. After a few minutes of being knocked unconscious, it woke up and limped into the back of the truck. The driver finally spoke with asking if he wanted to try it. Amazed at his forwardness, the guy cautiously agreed saying, "Sure, but just don't hit my head so hard when you're done."

Things Never to Say to a Man With a Small Penis
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Stop fingering me and fuck me.
4. I'm sorry.
5. Who circumcised you?
6. Why don't we just cuddle?
7. You know they have surgery to fix that.
8. It's more fun to look at.
9. Make it dance.
10. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
11. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
12. It looks like a nightcrawler.
13. Wow, and your feet are so big.
14. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
15. It's OK, we'll work around it.
16. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
17. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
18. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
19. Oh no, a flash headache.
20. (giggle and point)
21. Can I be honest with you?
22. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
23. Let me go get my tweezers.
24. How sweet, you brought incense.
25. This explains your car.
26. You must be a growing boy.
27. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
28. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
29. Are you one of those pygmies?
30. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
31. Ever hear of Clearasil?
32. All right, a treasure hunt!
33. I didn't know they came that small.
34. Why is God punishing you?
35. At least this won't take long.
36. Let's just stick with your hand.
37. Do you need a splint to prop that up.
38. How interesting.
39. I never saw one like that before.
40. What do you call this?
41. But it still works right?
42. Damn I hate baby-sitting.
43. It looks so unused.
44. Do you take steroids?
45. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
46. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
47. I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.
48. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
49. Let me know when you're done.
50. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
51. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
52. Aww, it's hiding.
53. Are you cold?
54. If you get me real drunk first.
55. Is that an optical illusion?
56. What is that?
57. Does thiis run in your family?
58. I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
59. Were you neutered?
60. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
61. Does it come with an air pump?
62. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
63. Where are the puppet strings?
64. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.
65. Deep throat???
66. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
67. Can you get this pencil out of me now?
68. Do I hang my hat on it?
69. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
70. Don't hold back.
71. Nevermind, why bother.

Slogans Promoting National Condom Week
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

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