Maalox and nosedrops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
Then I remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food nor food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and big fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

THEN I REMEMBER THE GREAT LIFE I'VE HAD AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SOOOO BAAAAD!!!

Sung to the tune of "Silver Bells"

Silver hair, Silver hair,
It's growing out at my temples

Crack and Groan
Hear me moan
As I get up from my chair

Little damp spots
That I can't stop
If I laugh, cough, or sneeze

I'm growing old
And I hate it

See my heat rash
From my hot flash
Now I'm cold as can be.

I'm growing old
Yes indeed.

Silver hair, Silver hair
That is not all
That is changing

Little lines
Not so fine
Fan out like canyon ravines.

Little crow’s feet
Creep on my cheek
They've a mind of their own

I'm growing old
And can't slow it

Buy Depends
But don’t bend
Or they’ll be down to your knees.

Silver hair, I don’t care
Cover it up
With a RED HAT

Time to sing
Do fun things
I’ve found some friends who will play.

Written by Her Royalness, "Queen Weezer Mumm"
Simi Valley Rhat Pacque

My Friends
Sung to the tune of "My Guy"
(With apologies to Mary Wells)

Nothing you can say,
Can tear me away,
From my friends.
Nothing you could do,
'cause I'm stuck like glue,
To my friends.

I'm sticking to my friends
Like a stamp to a letter,
Like birds of a feather,
We, stick together,
I'm telling you from the start,
I can't be torn apart from my friends.

Nothing you could do,
Could make me untrue,
To my friends.
(My friends)
Nothing you could buy,
Could make me tell a lie,
To my friends
(My friends)
I gave my friends,
My word of honor,
To be faithful,
And I'm gonna,
You'd best be believing,
I won't be deceiving,
My friends.

As a matter of opinion,
I think they're tops,
My opinion is,
They're the cream of the crop,
As a matter of taste,
To be exact,
They're my ideal,
As a matter of fact.

No muscle bound man,
Could take my hand,
From my friends.
(My friends)
No handsome face,
Could ever take the place,
Of my friends,
(My friends)
We may not be movie stars,
But when it comes to being happy,
We are,
There's not a man today,
Who can take me away,
From my friends.

No muscle bound man,
Could take my hand,
From my friends.
(My friends)
No handsome face,
Could ever take the place,
Of my friends,
(My friends)
We may not be movie stars,
But when it comes to being happy,
We are,

There's not a man today,
Who can take me away,
From my friends.
(Wha'dya say?)
There's not a man today,
Who could take me away,
From my friends
(Tell me more)
There's not a man today,
Who could take me away,
From my friends