* Why is a blonde like railway tracks?

% They've been laid all over the country

* What is it called when a blonde blows in another blondes ear?

% Data Transfer

* Why do blondes take the pill?

% So they know which day it is

* Why did the blonde get fired at the M&M factory?

% She threw out all the "W"'s

* Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, A smart blonde and a dumb blonde are walking down the street together and when they spot a £100 note laying in the road. Who picks it up?

% None. The first 4 don't exist, and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

* A blonde and a brunette jump off the Empire State Building. Which one reaches the bottom first?

% The brunette, the blonde had to ask for directions.

* A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver's license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver's license, he asks for registration. Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, "It's that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment." "Ah," she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out. Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, "Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!"

* There were three dumb blonde guys on an island who found an old pot and started rubbing at it, when suddenly out popped a genie. The genie told them that he only could grant 3 wishes so they would each get one. The first guy asked the genie to make him smarter so he got turned into a red-head. The second guy wanted to be even smarter than the first, so the genie turned him into a brunette. Then the last guy wished to be even smarter than both his friends...

...so the genie turned him into a woman.

* There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set. One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead. "There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette. "No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait. Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?" "What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You used your hands!"

* There are two blondes and a brunette on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each (you get the picture)... The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean. The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need jetski" With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde. The genie looks enquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says," Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."

* A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

* A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

* A brunnette, a redhead, and a blonde are in a cave and come a cross a genie in a bottle. The genie agrees to grant them one wish each, as long as they can each tell the genie something about themselves. If what they say is a lie they dissapear. The brunette says, "I think...I am the most beautiful person alive." *PooF* The brunnete dissapears. Next, the redhead says "I think... I am the most intelligent person in the world" *PooF* The redhead dissapears. Next the blonde says "I think..." *PooF* !!

* Why do blondes have square tits?

% They forgot to take the tissues out of the box.