April 27,2009

This month the song, "I Went To a Garden Party" by Ricky Nelson has been playing in my head. The line that keeps going over and over in my mind is, "You can't please everyone, so got to please yourself." Please remember this when you are scheduling an outing. If you discuss it with others you are always going to get someone who doesn't think it will be fun, or won't want to do something, or have been there before and says the food was bad. If you ask for an opinion we all will be sure to give you one! And sometime you will even get an opinion without asking. My advise is to smile and plan what you want to do. The event might not be everyone's cup of tea in the group but that is okay. In our group you can pick and choose what you want to do. I don't keep score of who attends what. Please yourself when you are the hostess. You will have more fun.

January 24, 2009

As Rosebuds we have a craft group, book club group, pinochle group and our regular gatherings. We are neighbors and friends and do other things together socially. Events, schedules, and activities are often discussed informally in our homes. IN THE FUTURE I WILL TRY TO KEEP ALL THE DISCUSSIONS SEPARATE AND SPECIFIC TO THE GROUP. I NEED YOUR HELP IN THIS MATTER. PLEASE REMIND ME FOR EXAMPLE IF WE ARE DISCUSSING RED HAT AT THE BOOK CLUB MEETING THAT IT WOULD BE BEST TO DISCUSS THIS WHEN MORE MEMBERS ARE PRESENT AT OUR NEXT RED HAT FUNCTION, ESPECIALLY IF THE ISSUE REQUIRES A VOTE.

Also another issue: I will not change schedules in the future to meet my schedule so that I can attend a function. If I have 2 things scheduled then I will just have to choose between them. If I get my way and change the date then that might mean someone else can not make the new date.

For those of you whose feelings I have hurt, I am truly sorry. I will try to do better. My goal is not to be AUTOCRATIC.

Oh, what a difference a week makes.
Lois

January 17, 2009

There are no thorny issues to discuss. We are just one happy family. My sisters, each and every one.

April 24,2008
Since our group is a democracy, I think it is important to remind everyone that when we as a hostess ask other members their opinion of a possible event and that opinion comes back different than the opinion of the hostess, it doesn't mean that members are negative. It just means that the members opinion, which was originally asked for, is just different than the hostess. Members must feel free to speak honestly. A hostess then makes a decision based on the majority. To me negativity is disagreement and complaints express when not asked. An opinion from Webster's is "a personal manner of looking at a matter."

And that is just my opinion.

November 27, 2007
Since we are coming up on a very busy time of the year, I just want to remind everyone that I know husbands, family committments, work, religion come first. I enjoy seeing everyone at our gatherings but we are not the kind of social club where you need to feel that you have to attend every function. Nor do you need to feel that you will disappoint or let us down if things change and you can not do what you had originally planned. Let Jeanette or I know if you are getting stressed out over something with the Rosebuds. This should only be fun. If it's not then let us help to make it fun. Read Nov. 3, 2007 note below.

November 3, 2007
There are three keys to any relationship:consideration, communication, and cooperation. Even with only one C missing, you do not have a relationship.

October 28, 2007
Please remember to RSVP to the hostess and not to me. Some days I can not remember **** and need help.

September 16, 2007
Sometimes people disappoint us and sometimes we disappoint people. Each member has different expectations of a group. If someone expresses disappointment in the group there are different ways to handle the situtation. One is talking in a one to one chat and trying to smooth things over. Or you can ignor the problem. Sometimes it fixes itself. You can self reflect and realize that no one is perfect. You can show grace and forgiveness. If after trying some of these things to no avail, at some point it is best not to prolong the issue because it usually just gets worse.

This is the situtation I was recently put in. I am sorry for the result but for the good of the whole I felt it was best to move on with no hard feelings and hope that the rest of you agree.

Friendship is a two way street. I am sure our member would have recieved more if she had given more.

August 28, 2007
There have been no thorny issues I am aware of. Hope this means we are all happy and that I don't have my head in the sand.

June 24, 2007, The QMB (QUEEN MOTHER'S BOARD) on the RHS web site contacted all queens regaring letters and e-mails they have recently received about RH's being lousy tippers. I responed by say: "I personally do not think that red hatters are poor tippers. There are individuals who tip poorly, just as there are individuals who tip well. Therefore, since groups are made up of individuals, some groups tip poorly and some tip well. The difference between the groups as I see it, is that red hatters are rememberable. We are visable in our red hat and purple. We have a name. The group of 20 at the table beside us from office XYZ might leave the same poor tip that the red hat group did but they are forgotten and we are the ones the servers remember."
I do not feel that our group, the Rosebuds, are poor tippers. Please tip according to your conscience. Please say thank you to the server. Remember that the server is human being and doing her job. Send a thank you note for exceptional service. Follow the creed: Pay in kind.
By the way, does anyone know what TIPS stand for? To INSURE PROPER SERVICE

There is a big controversity on the Queen Mother's Board on the RHS web site regarding prejudices and posters not being sensitive to others. I would like to remind everyone that politics, religion, and red hatting do not mix. Let's keep red hatting fun and not pass on our beliefs to each Rosebud by e-mail. We are a diverse group and we should be sensetive to others who may not share the same beliefs we do. I have been guilty of this in the past with the Clintons, so I will follow my own advice during the future election. Also I realize I as Queen, I do not have any control regarding what members send out on their own time. I am only talking about during our gatherings and collective e-mails to Rosebuds only. I would appreciate comments here.

Also I would like to remind everyone regarding privacy issues, please do not to give out addresses, phone numbers and e-mail addresses to others without permission.

It has been brought to my attention that some might have a misunderstanding regarding RSVP. Respondez S'il Vous Plait means: Please Reply. It does not mean, if you are not going, then reply. It means reply if you are going or if you are not going. The hostess needs to know one way of another, so she can make resverations, or plan the food or prizes, etc. It also does not mean if you told me that you are not going, that you do not need to call the hostess and tell her also. I need all the help I can get to remember who, what, where, and when, so I can not be expected to remember to RSVP for you. We do not have a big problem regarding this issue but some can do better.

Remember: Never past up the opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone.