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History Some of us in New England SA felt our recovery needed something more. Whether we were struggling to get sober or yearning for deeper sobriety, we were all searching for additional wisdom and strength. From this shared need we decided to establish a local step study fashioned after AA Big Book studies. Our goal was to focus on the solution and on the practical ways to work the steps. We held our first meeting October 6th, 2004. Attendance has been steadily growing and reaction has been consistently positive. We hope the meeting continues to grow and helps SAers recover and rebuild their lives. |
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Links Section
NE SA INTER-GROUP SA NATIONAL OFFICE
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It’s been said that there’s no activity more central to a 12-step program than … working the 12 steps!
Are you stuck in a cycle of relapse and ready to work the solution?
Are you “sober but dry,” looking for that deeper Sobriety?
Are you a recovering sexaholic with experience to share with others?
In all cases, we are happy to invite you to join the New England SA “Big Book” Step Study. This meeting designed to help those of us in SA who want and need practical insight on how to work the 12-Steps, as pioneered by AA, in recovery from our common disease, sexaholism. Here’s what you need to know:
When: first Wednesday of every month at 7:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
Where: Newton, MA – minutes from the Mass Pike. Write to the contact below or call NE inter-group, 617 499 9450, for the address and directions.
Meeting Type: Closed meeting, men and women, non-smoking and non-eating.
Format overview: About the meeting, read the step of the month (bring your AA Big Book please), listen to speaker, share on step experience, close. See below for complete format.
Welcome. Start promptly at 7:30 p.m. “Good Evening. Welcome to the New England SA Big Book Step Study. My name is ________________, and I’m a recovering sexaholic.”
About SA. “SA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problems and help others recover. There are no dues or fees for SA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. SA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and help other sexaholics achieve sobriety. The only requirement for membership in SA and attending meetings is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.” (SA White Book, p. 201). Meeting type. “This is a closed meeting; by that we mean participation is only for sexaholics and those who think they might be sexaholics. This is also a no smoking and no eating meeting; we ask that any smoking or eating be done outside. Given the nature of our addiction, we try to be mindful of our posture and how we dress. If you are not sure what to wear, please see a member of the group after the meeting. Please note that this facility has asked us to use street parking, if you are parked in their lot, we would ask you to move your vehicle at this time.”
Minute of Silence. “Please join me in a minute of silence to remember all those who are still sick and suffering outside of these rooms.”
Serenity Prayer. “Will you please join me in the ‘us version’ of the serenity prayer?”
God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. (Twelve & Twelve, p. 125)
“It has been said that there is no activity more central to a 12-Step Program than working the 12-Steps. It was therefore voted by group conscience that the purpose of this meeting is to help sexaholics become and stay sober by studying, discussing, and practicing the twelve steps as they are laid out in the primary texts of Alcoholics Anonymous and as they have been experienced by the members present in this room. Our focus is on the practical methods of working the steps and on the benefits we reap as a result. In short, we are here tonight to focus on the solution.”
1st Reading. “Would someone please volunteer to read There is a Solution from the AA Big Book, page 25 through the top of page 26?”
2nd Reading. “Would someone please volunteer to read How it Works from the AA Big Book, page 58 through the middle of page 60?”
Step Readings. “Tonight we will read the ____ Step as it is laid out in the Big Book, and where we have voted by group conscience, as it is also laid out in the Twelve & Twelve. Upon completion we will listen to the guest speaker* share his/her experience working this step and then the floor will be open for sharing.”
[*due to the length of the readings for the 1st and 12th steps, we will not have a guest speaker for the January and December meetings.]
“Our reading this evening is _______ [from below]. I will begin and we will to around the room to my right with each person reading two paragraphs until the reading is finished. Please note the reading uses only male pronouns and talks about alcoholism; readers are welcome to replace male pronouns and alcohol-specific terms as they see fit, and readers are also welcome to read verbatim.”
Step Rotation
Step 1 xxiii-xxx, 30-43
Step 2 44-57
Step 3 60-64
Step 4 64-71
Step 5 72-75
Step 6 76 (para. 1) 63-69
Step 7 76 (para. 2) 70-76
Step 8 76 (para. 3) 77-82
Step 9 76-84
Step 10 84-85
Step 11 85-88
Step 12 89-103
Guest Speaker. “Thank you everyone. At this point I would like to ask the guest speaker, _______, to share on this step for the next 20 minutes. Would someone volunteer to keep time and indicate when there are five minutes left?"
Sharing Guidance. When the speaker is finished: “Thank you _________ for sharing your experience, strength, and hope with us.”
“The floor is now open for sharing. If you have worked the step being discussed tonight with a sponsor to recover from sexaholism, please share your experience with us. If you have worked this step in another 12-Step program, we also welcome you to share that experience with us. If you have not worked this step, we ask you to first listen to those who have and then we invite you to share about your current step work or thoughts you have about starting to work the steps. Please remember that tonight’s focus is on the solution, and if discussion strays, the Chairperson will remind members of the purpose of the meeting.”
“It is our tradition to limit sharing to five minutes. The time keeper will hold up one finger when you have one minute remaining and his/her extended hand when time is up. If everyone does not get a chance to speak we will close sharing at 8:50 and give an opportunity to all present to claim their seats. Otherwise, sharing will end at 8:55 when we observe the 7th Tradition. When sharing, please identify your first name, your addiction, and, if applicable, the step you are working. Who would like to begin?”
7th Tradition. “That concludes the sharing part of tonight’s meeting. It is now time for the 7th Tradition. Our rent is $15. If we do not collect sufficient funds to pay the rent we will pass the hat around the room again. Any funds in excess of our rent will be given to New England Inter-group to support activities such as the New England SA Hotline and representation at national SA conferences. As the collection is passed, are there any announcements?”
“Our next meeting will be the first Wednesday of __________. We will be discussing the ___ Step. Please call each other, mark your calendars, and make announcements at local meetings beforehand to help remind people to attend. Is anyone willing to unlock the building next month? Is anyone with 30 days or more of sobriety willing to chair next month’s meeting? Chairing includes leading the meeting and handling next month’s 7th Tradition. Is anyone willing to speak or ensure we have a guest speaker? By group conscience we have decided on the following guest speaker qualifications: 1) The person is a sexaholic 2) He or she has been sober for 6 months or more 3) He or she has worked the step being discussed with a sponsor to recover from sexaholism
Closing. “If you are new or coming back or just need to reach out, please get a phone number or speak to someone after the meeting. This is an anonymous program. Please keep the name, address, and phone number of anyone you meet in SA to yourself. And what we say here, let it stay here. Remember that we never identify ourselves with SA in the press, radio, TV or films. Neither does anyone speak for SA.”
“Sponsorship is critical to working the steps. We would now ask that anyone who has at least 4 months of sobriety, who has worked at least the first step, and who is willing to temporarily sponsor another member, to raise his or her hand. We recognize that demand usually exceeds supply in our fellowship when it comes to sponsorship, but we suggest that any member who applies the same level of resourcefulness to finding a sponsor that he or she used to apply toward acting out will meet success in very short order. We can also offer a few practical suggestions if you are having trouble getting a sponsor: widen your meeting attendance, ask our Inter-group for assistance, or call the central office.”
9th Step Promises. “Would someone please volunteer to read the 9th Step Promises at the bottom of page 83 in the Big Book?”
Closing Prayer. “After a moment of silent meditation, I’d like to ask ___________ to lead us in the Seventh Step Prayer, which can be found on p. 76 of the Big Book.”
My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen
