"Bulling usually starts in the first few weeks of school, and left unchecked can quickly escalate," saud Alane Fagin MS, executive director, Child Abuse Prevention Services (CAPS.) "There are definite signs that parents should be aware of to determine whether their child is a target of a school bully." Bullying can take many forms including physical, verbal and emotional abuse, social exclusion, intimidation, racial/ethnic slurs, sexual harassment and cyber-bullying. It can occur in such places as on a school bus, in isolated areas in school, during a walk home, at after-school activities, and online. Sudden and uncharacteristic changes can indicate a child is being harassed or victimized. If parents suspect something is going on, bullying may be a possibility that needs investigation," Ms. Fagin said. Some specific behaviors include:

Decling gradesFrequent Complaints of IllnessBecoming withdrawn or depressedShowing unexplained bruises, or damage to clothesBeginning to bully othersBecoming aggressive, irritable or quick temperedHaving few or no friendsMaking excuses for not wanting to go to schoolNightmares or trouble sleepingActing out in the classroom

"The good news is there are proven methods and bully proofing strategies parents can learn and practice with their children to help them better deal with difficult situations, and feel safer in school," Ms Fagin said. "What parents say to a child depends largely on their age, but always start by listening. Stay calm and empathize. Keep it in perspective, and don't under or over react. Say nothing to escalate their fears."

Develope a personal safety plan with your child. Assure your child that you take their concerns seriously and will work with them to help them develope a plan so they can feel safe in school and get home safely. The plan should:Identify adults in school they can turn to for helpDetermine where the bullying took place and list alternative locations they can go to such as the guidance counselor's office (some schools may already provide options to recess).Identify their friends and encourage them to travel in groups (there is safety in numbers)Keep the lines open with the school, and your child

"Bullying:What Parents Need to Know" is a free brochure available to parents and caregivers. Send a written request and a self-addressed stamped #10 envelope to: CAPS, PO Box 176, Roslyn, NY 11576.

Founded in 1982, CAPS is a Long Island non-profit resource on the prevention of child abuse and neglect, bullying and cyber-bullying, relational agression, sexual harrassment, date/acquaintance reape, and how to stay safe on the internet. In addition to K-12 programs, CAPS offers parent and professional education. Call 516-621-0552 or 631-289-3240, email speaktocaps@optonline.net; or visit www.capsli.org.