I Love School

I love all my teachers from my head down to my belly

I polish all the teachers shoes I really think they're great

They're kind and smart and helpful they're delicate and gentle

And I am-yes you've guessed it very, very MENTAL!!

(This poem is to be sung in the tune of Postman Pat!)

Postman Pat, Postman Pat!

He ran over his black and white cat!

Blood and guts went flying!

Postman Pat was crying!

Said he'd never drink and drive again!!

(This song is to be sung in the tune of Jack and Jill!!)

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down,

In something brown,

And Jill followed shortly after!!

Little Johnny's dead and gone,

His face we see more,

For what he thought was H20,

Was H2SO4!

When Mary had a little lamb,

The doctor was surprised!

But when Old MacDonald had a farm,

He couldn't believe his eyes!

Our Deputy Head's a funny chap,

Who creeps from class to class,

He has a face that could curdle cream,

And a voice like broken glass!

We're going to build a bonfire,

Put our Maths books on the top,

Put school exams in the middle,

And burn the bloomin' lot!

The rain makes all things beutiful,

The trees and flowers too,

But if rain makes all things beautiful,

Why doesn't it rain on you!

I'd like to have your picture,

It would be very nice,

I'd put it in the cellar,

To frighten all the mice!!

Poor old teacher, we missed you so,

When into hospital you had to go,

For you to remain there would be a sin,

Were sorry about the banana skin!

Last night I killed my wife,

Stretched out on the kitchen flooring,

I was upset to take her life,

But I had to stop her snoring!!