Just Waiting for My Family by Terry M. Mandeville This touching children's book is illustrated by the author with first-hand knowledge of Bulgarian orphanages. It is a real adoption story for children. JUST WAITING FOR MY FAMILY describes life in an Ex-Soviet Style orphanage as a child waits for a real family and the beginning of an adoption journey. The author is a Psychiatric RN who has worked with children and families for several decades. She was united with her sons in Bulgaria. She has written this tale of adoption from the child's point of view. This is the often requested story she used to tell her boys when they first came home with her. From these words they seemed to gain some measure of reassurance and peace during those stressful times, and learned that they were not, by any means, alone in their feelings.This is a story you can read to your children over and over again, through many stages of development, providing an ideal opportunity for open discussion with children who were adopted, as well as their siblings, friends, and family. It is one to which most children adopted from Eastern Europe and South-Central Asia can relate. Available on EBay or through the author: Terry M. Mandeville 7933 NE 124th ST., Kirkland, WA  98034 Phone: 425-823-8018 Email: terrymand@aol.com $14.95 plus 3.95 S&H

BOOKS FOR PARENTS & PROSPECTIVE PARENTS:

Commentary by Katie Shemwell, FRUA-PA Member and adoptive Mom

How to Adopt Internationally, Jean Nelson-Erichsen and Heino R. ErichsonThis book discusses a broad range of situations that may be encountered in the process of international adoption. The authors of this book have adopted internationally (Columbia), have masters degrees in human development, and are the founders of an international adoption agency. Organized starting with discussions regarding choosing to adopt through parenting the adopted child this book is an easy to use reference. Topics covered include the understanding of international adoption, preparing the paperwork for the homestudy and INS approval, handling the referral process, traveling, meeting the child, filing paperwork in the country, immigrating, arriving home, obtaining post adoption documentation, and parenting. Although the book is written as a general guide it does include specific information about most countries from which Americans adopt children. No topic is discussed in great depth, but enough information is provided for the reader to gain a basic understanding of most all that could be involved in international adoption.

Building the Bonds of Attachment , Daniel Hughes Dr. Hughes, a clinical psychologist, illustrates the cause of a child’s inability to form attachments, the consequences of this emotional inability, and the potential for success through this book, Building the Bonds of Attachment.The book reads like a novel. The basic story is a fictional scenario of a young girl born to parents who are highly inept at parenting. As a result the child is not shown love or acceptance from her parents. She does not get feelings of love and security until she is fortunate to find a foster home where there is enough experience with her unique situation to provide her the therapy she needs to be able to form a strong bond with a mother. At the end of each chapter Dr. Hughes provides commentary and analysis explaining the scenario from a professional standpoint with language that is comprehendible to a casual reader. Through this method he is able to place the reader in the situation almost as a participant. It is easy to understand how the actions of the parents, both biological and foster, and the therapist, greatly affect the outcome and fate of the child.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew , Sherrie Eldridge A good place for parents of adopted children to begin learning about the possible issues that their adopted children may face as they grow into adults. Written by an adoptee, Sherrie Eldridge, the book draws upon both the authors’ personal experiences and her research into adoption attachment difficulties. She offers parents possible solutions to many of the potential concerns adopted children may experience as they mature such as dealing with the sense of having been rejected, mourning their significant loss, desire to know about their birth family, fear of abandonment, sad feelings surrounding birthdays, absence of medical history, and need for validation of troubling emotions. Well organized and easy to use as a reference, the book is a good introduction for parents because Ms. Eldridge enhances her personal perspective with references from various professional sources. These other perspectives provide a bibliography for future reading.

Commentary by Gina Pollock, FRUA-PA Member and Mom to three.

Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for Your Adopted Child, Beth O'Malley Easy to read workbook for adoptive parents and waiting parents who wish to document their children's early lives for them, in the form of a lifebook. Uses exercises and text to help explore adoption issues.

Attaching in Adoption - Practical Tools for Today's Parents, Deborah D. Gray From the book; This positive, but realistic book is an important resource for all adoptive families, at any stage of pre and post-adoption. The information on attatchment challenges will allow prospective adoptive parents to understand the possible issues of their new children. Those that have adopted will be able to recognize some behaviors of their children and learn methods of parenting that will help all to achieve success. From Gina: Has vingettes that add a lot of real-life info, very straight forward

Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft, Mary Hopkins-Best A blend of stories, theories and advice for overcoming the issues unique to adopting a toddler. Covers transitions, attachment, grief, development and behavior management.

What Size Shoes Does She Wear? Adopting A Toddler, Denise Harper Hoppenhauer Lots of detailed info. This is not about the psychological part of adopting but the practical. It's about what to bring when you go, what size clothes and shoes to bring for these kids, travelling tips and etc.

Adoption Parenting, Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections, EMK Press edited by Jean MacLeod & Sheena Macrae, PhD. This book looks at the core issues all members of the adoption triad face, and how they affect parenting techniques that just might not be the right fit for adopted children. Chapters include: Getting Started, Claiming, Language, Food, Baggage, Discipline, Loss and Grief, Transitions, Siblings, School, Race , Older Child Adoption and much more!