RUBY REDHAT:

Official mascot of the Red Hat Society. Ruby Redhat is a frisky, full figured litle lady, cleverly disguised as an adult. She represents the spirit of the little girl who is alive and well inside each of us.
She is partial to purple - has a whole wardrobe of various shades of it. She wears a (something red) red hat on her head at all times. She is very devoted to our colors. However her perference for comfort over fashion, she usually wears fuzzy pink slippers rather than high heels or any other less than comfy footwear. She is so done with pinchy shoes!

Ruby RedHat's Top Ten Rules For Living, Plus One

1. Accept reality and live in the here and now. Ruby can't be bothered with "what-ifs" or regrets. She says they interfere with her fun!

2. Accentuate the positive. Ruby always chooses to find the good in any situation she is faced with. She says she would rather develop laugh lines than frown lines. Attitude is everything.

3. Nurture yourself. Ruby listens to herself and provides for her own needs. When she needs a break, she gives herself one! Whatever it is, do it! And and often as you can.

4. Indulge your sense of humor. Ruby heartily appreciates the value of laughter. Humor is as essential to Red Hatting as air is to breathing.

5. Play! Either Ruby never grew up all the way or she has regressed. In either event, she knows how to have a great time! GIRL'S JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!

6. Dress up! Ruby adores embellishing whatever she is wearing with glitz, glitter, and glam.

7. Cultivate and openness to new things. Ruby will try almost anything.

8. Express your creativity. Ruby thinks "outside the hatbox." Find ways to try out "silly" ideas.

9. Exercise compassion. Ruby loves to laugh and cry with others. Red Hatters often show compassion for one another.

10. Have courage! Ruby knows she is up to the challenge of whatever may come. We know life is no bed of roses. But we aren't afraid of the tough stuff.

11. Make up for the sobriety of your youth! Ruby says that she, too, was dutiful in her younger years and now she has a lot of quirky stuff that she needs to get done!

Ruby RedHat

HOW TO PLAY A KAZOO:


*Hum into the large opening of the kazoo. (don't blow, just hum)
*The sound comes out the top.
*The extra air comes out the small end of the kazoo.
*If you don't get a sound try saying a word like "who" in the kazoo.

KAZOO HISTORY:
The kazoo is in the family of musical instruments called "mirlitions". These instruments make their sound by sympathetic vibration with the human voice. The sound of your humming voice causes the wax paper resonator to vibrate in the kazoo, and the shape of the kazoo helps amplify and project the sound.


ADVANCED KAZOOING:


l. Try a musical scale - "DO-RE-MI-FA-SO-LA-TI-DO"
2. Play "Mary Had A Little Lamb"
3. Make the sound of a fast sports car
4. Make the sound of a police siren
5. Make a dinosaur sound
6. Make a mosquito sound
7. Play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony

CAUTION: Continued Kazoo playing can be very annoying to spouses, parents and co-workers.





KAZOOING SAFETY RULES:


1. Never stick the kazoo up your nose.
2. Do not inhale through the kazoo.
3. In subfreezing timperatures, use ONLY plastic model kazoos, since a metal kazoo could become permanently affixed to lips and/or tongue.
4. Use prtective covering to keep your kazoo free of purse/pocket lint or belly button fuzz.

KAZOOIST HEALTH RULES:
Prevent lip fatigue by adhering to short practice sessions, lengthening them only when your embrochure muscles have achieved schwartznegerian definition.

To avoid cramping, chafing and blistering, induce a North Carolina farmer to reveal the contents of the ointment they have used for generations to treat cows with chapped udders.

Directly before an important performance (what kazoo player performance is unimportant?) the professional and courteous Kazooist (and what kazooist is not courteous?) ABSTAINS from such substances as beer, chili, garlic or other dyspeptic foods unless hiccoughing is desired effect in the music.

Directly post performance, the kazooist becomes - in all respects a bon vivant indulging in a large array of food, beverages and types of social intercourse.

TO BE A KAZOOIST:
Be on time......Be full of breath.....Be good to your leader.