Who's Job

This is a story about four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was a job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. But Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. It ended up that Somebody blamed Everybody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!!

Scotland Forever!!

Once, on the banks of Loch Ness, a man was going for a stroll when suddenly, he saw a horrible lady standing by the water's edge. As he came nearer, she turned and faced him. I am the spirit of Loch Ness, and I will give you 3 wishes you if you complete 3 tasks. The old man thought to himself. When he was younger, he was told that it was the inside that counted, and this lady seemed nice. He agreed. His first task was to carry the lady around the Loch. His second was to get the lady's sacred ring from the bottom of the Loch. The last one was to kiss her. He bent towards and smelt a putrid pong. However, the three wishes tempted him.Afterwards he said: "I have done all your tasks, now give me three wishes" She replied:"You're a bit old to be believing in wishes!" and walked off!

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The Horse

There once was a man who wanted a a horse, so he went to the local preist to get one. But it only obeyed two commands. Ahleluyha to stop and thank the lord to go. So the man went off on his horse shouting encouragingly. Suddenly he realised that he was approaching a cliff. But he couldn't remember the word to stop. About 3 millimeters from the edge he shouted "Aleluyha!" and the horse stopped. "Thank the lord!"the man cried out gladly.

Jokes!!

Why did Tigger put his head down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

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Why are rivers so rich?

They have two banks on either side!

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Sporty Kid: We can't possibly play football today, the pitch is wet through!

Unsporty Kid: Why? It's the middle of summer!

Sporty Kid: The first years have been doing dribbling practice! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are Maths teachers rubbish at gardening?

Everything they grow has square roots!

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How does a maths teacher remove hard wax from her ears?

She works it out with a pencil!

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Why do astronomers have bad concentration?

They are always staring into space!!

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What do you call an underwater spy?

James Pond!!!