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Top 10 Signs... That You're Going to Have a Bad IEP Meeting
By Colleen F. Tomko

10.The IEP invitation lists "drive-thru" hours.
9. When you get to the meeting, the staff want to know what you are doing there.
8. They give you complimentary white flags and tissues.
7. Your child's student ID # is 666.
6. They try to convince you that the attending speech therapist really is the janitor's identical twin.
5. You find yourself explaining that... the regs say they can use IU's for related services, not I-O-U's.
4. The special ed coordinator says 'Have we got a place for your kid?".
3. They think "inclusion" is some type of venereal disease.
2. The staff is bumming because their label maker burned out.
1. You over hear the staff talking about the Least "resisted" environment.

"...Your child might have an IEP."

In talking with families many seemed confused about whether their child had an IEP through the school. To assist families in determining whether their child has an IEP, we felt it would be helpful to apply the Foxworthy test.

If you have ever attended a meeting at school with 25 professionals... your child might have an IEP.

If you are the only one wearing jeans.... your child might have an IEP.

If these professionals speak a different language.... your child might have an IEP.

If the meeting room was the size of a closet... your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been asked, "do you think your child is the only one in the district?"...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever heard, "we do not have money for that!"... your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been called an "overprotective, hysterical parent" or an "uninvolved parent"... your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been told your child "will just grow out of it", "is lazy", "slow", irresponsible", "immature and/or sensitive" etc...etc... your child might have an IEP.

If you feel you have walked into "Assertiveness Training 101" by accident...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been screamed at by a school official...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been told your child will be lucky to grow up and dig ditches...your child might have an IEP.

If it has ever been suggested to move to another District...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been invited to home school your child... your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever called the school and asked for your child and were told "we do not have anyone here by that name..." your child might have an IEP.

If your family is ever discussed in the teachers lounge... your child might have an IEP.

If every time you call the school board office, the person you need to talk to is in a meeting...you might have an IEP.

If a meeting with the school has ever been rescheduled more than twice to the time you definitely can not come...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been patted on the shoulder and called "honey" by the principal...your child might have an IEP.

If it has ever been suggested all your child needs is a "good spanking to straighten him/her up..." your child might have an IEP.

If you have been asked by a teacher to "just sign it!"... your child definitely has an IEP...

If you have ever been called Ms Whitesomething... your child might have an IEP.

If you know your advocate's phone and fax number by heart...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been forced into due process, state court, the district court of appeals, federal court, or the federal circuit court on a fast track to the US Supreme Court... your child might have an IEP.

If you are known as a due process queen... your child might have an IEP.

If you can quote federal statutes in your sleep...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever requested your child's records and it took two years to receive them...your child might have an IEP.

If you have ever been told, the district doesn't care if you sign the IEP or not, services have ceased...your child might have an IEP.

If you have crossed out the words "Procedural Safeguards" on your copy and written in "Procedural Land Mines"... I know I have...then your child definitely has an IEP...for what it's worth.

If a new teacher went to pull your child's cumulative records and had to make two trips to get it; your child might have an IEP

Your child might have an IEP/ you've been through a Due Process if [enter state DOE legal head here] knows you.

Your child might have an IEP/you've been through a Due Process if you sign all your letters, " I look forward to your written response on or before ten (10) business days."